Subway sandwich story

I was hanging out with an old friend today and telling her about my blog.  She actually met Lucky Lady on one of our drops and we all went out to dinner.  My friend was insistent that I write about her bathroom habits.  I would like to preface the story by saying that I don’t normally discuss my own bathroom behavior.  When I lived in England I was shocked that my colleagues not only told me they were going to the bathroom but what they would do there.  Since then, to gross me out, when my friends  get together they tell me what they are about to do in the bathroom.   So here goes.

Many, many, many times I would wake up, look down and see a big subway cup of pee in the cup holder.  When she got up, she would just open the window and poor it out, keeping the cup for later use.  I never got used to this.  I always go in a proper toilet.  They are everywhere.  It’s not THAT hard to stop and go.  I can be in and out in 2 minutes.   When I was driving I had to also get used to her opening up the curtain, rolling down the passenger window and throwing her pee out the window where it would spray all over the side of the truck.  This was a very normal occurrence.

One day I got a foot long meatball sandwich at Subway.  I intended to eat the other half later but she came into the truck stop and asked if she could have it.  I gave half to her with no reservations, we were partners.  I drive about 30 minutes down the road and she yells from the back, “Holly, I have got to go to the bathroom, there was something wrong with that sandwich.”  I told her that there was a rest area 10 minutes away.  She said, “I don’t think I can make it.”  I asked her to try.  Only a couple minutes later she said, “Pull over now.”  So I pulled over on the side of the road and before the truck was able to stop, I smelled it.  She wasn’t able to make it out before she defecated on herself.  She continued to defecate on herself as she was climbing down to the ground. Goodness, it smelled bad.  She took off her clothes and I gave her the box of baby wipes to clean up.  Here was my driving partner, naked from the waist down, on the side of the interstate, cleaning up poop off her body.  I cannot say enough how grateful I am for my own digestive system.  We ate the same sandwich and I didn’t have any severe problems.

 

After this incident I invested in a porta potty.  I was tired of seeing pee cups both full and empty.  And while the porta potty is intended for liquid use, if there was ever an emergency like the Subway sandwich story, it can be used for that.  The porta potty was a great solution and unfortunately I left it with her when I packed up my stuff and quit.  But hey, she probably needed it more than me anyway.  I didn’t eat a Subway sandwich for at least a year after this incident.  It only brought back the memories.